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2am and naked/Cindy

is this your way?

to leave me naked in a bed
just a jonny
is it a jonny or a janie I laugh
and sob
but it's
nice it feels like a

can't condone

no better naked
no just boxers
2 am and naked
can't feel good

Years will pass and i'll be back
shaking with the DT's
Being a late stage
alcoholic is so

Just 1 drink to get ya smashed
soon i can walk with Cindy down
the halls slowly now
as she was
we keep up together
holding hands,
not the broken one though

i'll be much
slower then, she can keep up

if she lives that long...

This seems long I know
four days seemed long too
but it wasn�t
the longest part
was the first ten minutes
after the door shuts
and my roommate screams

fuckin� gonna fuckin� kill you fuck�
fuckin� gonna fuckin� kill you fuck�

Open my eyes...


but it was moot...
damage was done on the
on the phone
on the net
won't condone
daddy opened my eyes
and closed his long ago

He loves a lie and I love him
So take his lie for what its worth
does anyone really deserve to be happy
can�t speak for everyone else

Dad doesn�t condone i

Wtf happened to me?

Uhm, been a long year. This will be a wall of text so I can sum it up very simply.

If you're planning on trying the recreational drug K2, Don't.

You can stop reading there if you have no intention of ever smoking that crap.  I know I have a highly addictive personality. 7 years of ffxi should of made that obvious. But i never thought I would have a cracklike addiction to a legal chemically that almost killed me last night.


Yes 2 heartbeats away from an ER visit and I still can't stop smoking this shit.

Where did it begin? Well some family problems come up, but i'm not the first person with issues. Many other people can deal without getting high. I lasted 7 years w/o any chemicals. So i choose the the easy way out i guess. Instead of seeing a doctor and finding out the root causes of my depression, I just got melted on K2 every night. Here is how it began.

I learned of k2 from a news report and ordered my first bag that night. More curious to see if this shit worked than anything else.
It was cheap (about the same price as the weed I smoked) and fun. As with all drug abusers, I built up a tolerance really quickly. 
I would dose myself, and redose myself all night long. Barely able to watch tv or play games, I would just keep repacking my bowl, even though it was still lit from the last smoke.

I began experimenting with different types. I really fell into the stuff hard when I ordered this product called omega. $40/g and it comes in a little crack vile. Sprinkle just a little bit of this stuff on a bowl and goodnight.

I would try, from time to time, to purge myself and quit entirely. But this stuff just kept coming to my house. Stuff I only vaguely remember ordering. I knew i needed help and began to see a therapist.

After my last purge I got an email from my supplier telling me they were going out of business and were having a blow out sale.
I ordered 1 oz and got 2 free.
Yay for fucking me. I'm an idiot.

It didn't even end at that. Oh noes, they had only 1 vial of omega left. So i went scouring teh internet looking for more.

What I found nearly killed me.

The chemical is called AM2201. The best way to descibe it is, a cross between heroin and acid. You get all those pychodelic flashes plus the horrible crappy painful withdrawals.  After 1 puff of this crap, I was outside in the freezing snow wandering around aimlessly. The panic attacks started up again, this time I could really feel my heart racing. My breathing was labored and I felt disconnected from reality.
I was sure at any moment I was just gonna collapse. Terrified, i walked into my living room holding my pipe and told my mother, literally

"I can't stop smoking this shit"

Together we purged my room again, and I wish I could say it ended there.

Nope, 2 hours later I was digging though the trash to pull a few of the bags out.
The come down from am2201 is so awful, people often redose just to avoid it.
So after supper that night I smoked one last hit, and promptly began vomiting all over my room.

My whole body was shaking, I could barely breath, my heart was racing, and I was puking.
I tried to get up and run to the bathroom, only to trip on unsteady legs and pass out on the floor.
That's how my parents found me. Mom started crying cause she thought I was dead, my father just walked
out of the room, and I'm disgusted with myself.

I brought this all down upon myself, I blame no one but me. Just sharing my story for anyone else considering.

Accidental Hiku

Movies playing at Southampton UA 4
Please give Iron Man
These Letters To Juliet
Secret in their Eyes

it clicked in my mind 5/7/5 an Accidental HiKu...

Yes i still need a life tyvm.


Why is Tangled Up in Blue the most difficult vocal track on Rock Band 2? I can just picture Bob Dylan failing his own song...



Certain factors indicate I may be getting a demotion come January. Nothing set in stone just a feeling I get. Funny thing is, If I go back to my last pay grade I'll be on hourly and earning more per year then at my current position. Since on salary I'm expected to work like 90 hours a week with no Overtime. Timing really sucks, in the summer we has long hours and I was on salary, in the winter short hours on hourly. So if it does happen I will politely ask for retroactive overtime pay for the last year, if for no other reason I can watch my boss die laughing.

Sep. 17th, 2009


I live in a town where people dwell in $50,000,000 oceanfront estates and drive $200,000
sports cars and I get rear ended by a Honda Accord.

Assistant Managers Rant